Ugh, I hate failing. I try to remember how great people always failed. Lincoln failed. Edison failed. And even from a worldly view Jesus looked like a pretty big screw up. The thing that I admire about utter and complete failures is their ability to bounce back and not let their failure define them. And so, I spam you with inspirational quotes that teach us how to properly look at those events in life that tear us down.
I'm taking steps forward. I'm looking onward, and upward. I'm finding a new path for myself and realizing that the reason this is all hitting me so hard is because I've tied my identity to what I do and how I do at it rather than who I am. Which makes for a fragile ego. Ever changing depending on what I've done and how well I've done it. Looking at it like this sounds so exhausting.
So, I'm going back to the start (yes, I singing Coldplay as I type that). Who does God say that I am?
I am a child of God and an heir with Christ.
I am accepted by Christ.
I am the temple of the Spirit of God.
I am chosen, holy and blameless before Him.
I am God's workmanship, created to do good works.
I have been made complete in Christ.
It's really been a call back to His word. For a long time I've been having one way conversations with God. I've been talking and talking and talking, but not taking the time to listen. I think it's very easy to get caught up in other identities when you're not taking in wisdom. My starting places in the bible when I've spent a season out of the Word is typically Hebrews or 1 & 2 Kings. So, I started in Hebrews. I'm going to inextricably tie my identity in the One who never disappoints.
In other news - I started my seedlings. There is new life everywhere. I even took pictures of them, but I'd have to manage to find my cord o share those with you...